THE NATION OF BOB
I have been encouraged to share some of my earlier articles from time to time. The following humor piece is from 2012 and describes my idea of a nearly perfect government structure and organization. Just for fun.
THE NEARLY PERFECT NATION OF BOB
A KIND OF “WISH LIST”?
If I wanted to design the “perfect” place to live, and, if it did not matter how many folks I managed to infuriate and alienate in the process, it would look something like this:
1. Government taxes at all levels could not exceed 10%. I don’t think the government should ask for more than God does. Everybody would pay the same rate of taxes. The more you earn, the more you pay but the rate is the same.
2. Government would be forbidden budget deficits unless our nation faced invasion from a hostile foreign enemy. At the time of this writing I cannot imagine a foreign government that would want to invade our country and assume our debt and problems.
3. All government services, except maybe national defense, would be put out to bid to private industry with specific performance requirements for payment and penalties for poor performance. We might want to consider contracting out management of our national defense to Israel.
4. Those people and attorneys who file lawsuits and lose their case in court must pay the legal fees of the party they are suing.
5. Convicted Felons: First time offenders would spend their time in prison stateside in a cell watching and listening to endless re-runs of “Barney the Purple Dinosaur” (I love you, you love me etc.). Any time outside the cell would be in a physical labor environment (in pink jumpsuits). Second time offenders would earn a trip to spend their time in a Mexican prison. Three time losers would spend their prison terms in North Korea. I am sure both Mexico and North Korea would be happy to provide the service at less than half what we taxpayers pay to maintain prisoners. Surviving felons who commit a fourth offense will be parachuted into Taliban Country in Afghanistan armed with a Bible.
6. “Public” schools would be contracted and attendance based on parental choice of school. Uniforms and discipline with specific requirements for advancement and graduation. Students not compliant with specific disciplinary and learning requirements would be placed in alternative career/trade school or military “opportunity” environments.
7. Those citizens with real, medically diagnosed, physical or mental illness would be provided basic needs which would include medical care. Drug testing mandatory for all public assistance.
8. Both parents of a child are responsible for providing for the needs of the children they bring into the world. Public assistance provided only with drug testing and mandatory work requirements. No food stamp credit cards. Food provided on the basis of basic dietary requirements. Violation of the rules would terminate participation in any public program and removal of children to supervised foster care. Parents who drop out of the program will receive mandatory parental training at the North Korean or Iranian re-education camp of their choice.
9. All public officials must live under the same laws, regulations and programs (such as Social Security and Healthcare) that they impose on all other citizens. No exceptions and no exemptions.
10. Public employees would work under specific work contracts with clearly defined and limited benefits including defined retirement (401k type) contribution plans. No lifetime pension and health care benefits.
I think I will stop here as I have probably managed to anger and alienate enough people for one article. Are those torches and pitchforks I see out in the street in front of my house?
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Come on, you know you want to smile at least a little!
Bob Bandy (redux August 2021)
That should actually be a political party platform.
1Actually it is similar to my election plan of 2010. Type Vote For Me in the search box. 🙂 Bob
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4Thank you and sorry but I removed myself from Twitter. Until I get my subscription link fixed the best way to follow the site is by bookmark, checking back ever week or so. Others also follow with the RSS feed. Bob
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