photo – California Globe – January 12, 2024

SOMETIMES IT IS TOO EASY

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

Back in March 2023 I wrote a spoof article titled: SPIN DOCTORS – LIPSTICK ON LIES.  Conrad Blowhard makes his appearance in an excerpt from my article sub-headlined: “A SPIN CITY NARRATIVE” and my article follows these excerpts from The California Globe article by Kathy Grimes titled:

$478,000 Per Unit: Homeless ‘Tiny’ Apartments Now Open in Sacramento – Cost to build – $1,707 per square foot

Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg proudly announced “Sacramento’s historic Capitol Park Hotel reopens this week as St. Clare at Capitol Park, a permanent supportive housing complex for people experiencing homelessness.”

Calling the state’s homeless vagrant population “unhoused” has justified spending billions of taxpayer dollars on housing for the homeless in lovely new apartments, renovated hotels, and tiny homes.

The Globe first reported on this fishy project in 2019:

The city just closed a triage shelter for the vagrants living on the streets. Mayor Steinberg is pinning his hopes on the Capitol Park Hotel which was used for decades as housing for low-income disabled adults. The city is kicking them out, and renovating the hotel for $23 million. Steinberg says it will have 180 beds for homeless by August.

As one neighbor said in response to Steinberg’s press conference, “these are the drug addicts and mentally ill who refuse the city services. To call them ‘homeless’ is an insult to those that are truly down on their luck. They are ‘vagrants, ‘criminals,’ ‘druggies,’ and ‘junkies’ who have chosen this lifestyle.”

Truer words could not be spoken……

……….Steinberg spoke of the “homeless” without addressing their open lawlessness, drug dealing, theft, people masturbating in public, shooting up heroin in the open, soliciting drugs and prostitution in public, and defecating and urinating on streets in front of local businesses. It’s not a pretty picture. According to Mayor Steinberg, “it’s a housing crisis.”

The “housing crisis” and the “unhoused” are apparently worth a really large bounty per head to the City of Sacramento – they are the “facilitators” for the hotel and apartment renovations, bringing billions to the cities in California from the federal and state governments.

That “housing complex for people experiencing homelessness” ballooned up per unit cost by 2020 to $445,000 each. Mercy Housing began the project with a $34 million price to convert the Downtown Sacramento building’s 180 hotel rooms into 134 studio units of about 280 square feet each. The project grew to a $64 million project, that we know of at this point.

That’s $478,ooo per 280 square foot room –  $1,707 per square foot. The average square foot cost of real estate right now in Sacramento is about $300 to $400 per square foot.

The complete California Globe article is available on their website:  THECALIFORNIAGLOBE.COM

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My original article excerpted from something I wrote back in March 2023 follows:

A SPIN CITY NARRATIVE

Conrad Blowhard is the Mayor of Spin City, California.  His city has become infested with homeless encampments and vagrants numbering in the thousands.  To some this would seem a problem but Mayor Blowhard sees an opportunity.  

He will convince his City Council that in an effort to help the homeless and decrease their numbers on the cities streets and alleys he would like them to pass a funding bill in the amount of 80 Million Dollars with the proceeds dedicated to renovating a dilapidated, nearly abandoned hotel down on “Skid Row” and convert it’s 80 rooms into housing for the homeless.  The City Council passes the funding request and pats themselves on the back for “caring” about the homeless.

Closed bidding contracts are let out to major contractors who are supporters and donors to the Mayor for the work to be done.  A ceremonial event is held at the Foggy Bottom Hotel with the Mayor swinging a sledge hammer through a faded door of a shoddy 200 square foot room in front of live television cameras.  Everybody applauds.

Work begins.  Some effort is made to rid the building of most of the rats, termites and other vermin which infest it.  The leaking roof is patched.  Contractors workers “freshen up” the rooms with new paint, carpet, updated (cheap) fixtures from China and new window coverings.  Cost per room innovated is $400,000.  In addition, the hotel gets a new name:  “NEW BEGINNING’S” and a single fresh coat of exterior paint. 

Grand Opening Day arrives.  Brass Bands and Ribbon Cutting.  Mayor Blowhard and City Council members make grandiose speeches about how they have solved the cities Homeless Crisis.  A few ragged homeless people are seen entering the building to take occupancy of their renovated 200 square foot “apartments”.

The Mayor’s handpicked contractors, sub-contractors and suppliers go out and spend their profits on new boats, sports cars and luxury vacations but not forgetting to “tithe” back some of those profits to the Majors campaign re-election coffers.

The 80 “new” tenants of the once dilapidated hotel settle in and begin the task of de-renovation on the hotel to turn it back into a Skid Row Manor.  

The whole process is “spun” as a huge success and praise and credit is layered on all who participated in the project.  What could possibly go wrong.  Housing was provided, at least temporarily, for 80 homeless people for only 80 Million Dollars.  “WINK – WINK”.

Bob Bandy – March 2023

P.S. I would like to give inspirational credit to Michael J. Fox and his long ago television series “Spin City”.

Bob Bandy – January 2024