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Archive for the ‘Humor’

BEST OF BOB’S BRAIN – OR NOT

November 03, 2022 By: bob Category: Culture, Humor, In the News, On Bob's Mind, Something To Think About

one of my better days

 

THIS IS NOT MY USUAL POSTING

I have posted more than 200 articles over the last 13+ years on many subjects.  Obviously some are better than others and on those articles, where comments were or are allowed, I get a variety of comments and feedback.  Sheer volume of comments keeps me from reading all of them.  I normally gravitate to the shorter “pithy” ones.  Some of my better (in my mind) receive few, and sometimes, no comments.  Others amaze me with the numbers I receive. For example one article I wrote 2 1/2 years ago will today still receive sometimes 30-50 comments in a single day (one day I received 73) and I have received thousands of comments since publishing it.  Keeping in mind that articles are often shared, reposted on other sites, etc. that is an amazing number of comments on a 30 month old article.  

In the left column of the home page there is a “Search For Articles” box.  The Search Box is not case sensitive. You can simply type in a title, a subject or even a key word and then click enter on your keyboard and the search feature will bring up an article or articles on that subject.  For example if you type  Clinton  in the search box it will bring up any and all articles regarding the Clinton Crime Duo.  

Since beginning my writings many thousands of readers have either subscribed or follow my meandering on a Bookmark, RSS Feed or other means.  Trying to find all of my articles – including the not-so-good ones – on a Back – Back – Back basis at the bottom of each page can be a time consuming task. 

Consider the following an exercise in using the “Search” feature.  To repeat the above, just pick a title from the following list, type it, or copy and paste it, from the list in the Search For Articles box and press enter on your keyboard.  The list is purposefully in no particular order and represents an effort to sample some of what I deem better pieces I have written based on either reader feedback or my own judgement.  You are encouraged and free to enjoy or reject them, share them, save them, print them or whatever your choose.  You might even want to print this page/list out  and use it as a checklist in your own “quest for the best”.  For your reading entertainment. 

HAVE FUN:  

Pick a title and type (or copy and paste) into the Search For Articles box

The Nearly Perfect Nation Of Bob – Kingdom of the Locust – Momma Tried – Gender Studies – Critical Bob Theory Boundaries – The Drums of Equity – Go To Your Room And Stay There – Junk Science Ala Carte – The Great Green Race II – You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – Fair Share Taxes and Global Climate Change – Erasing History – Equity Policies and Guaranteed Outcomes – What is a Fair Share – California High Speed Rail 2.0 – The Borg Initiative – The Garden – Oximorons Non Taxpaying Taxpayers – Two Graves – Survival in an Idiocracy – Storage Wars and Government – Clipboard Freedom – Paperwork Reduction – The Social Security Ponzi Scheme – Tipping Point – A Journey to the Dark Side – Was Is Will Always Be – Fixing Income Inequality – Bring On The Clowns – Mark of the Beast – Third Grade Math Party – Vote For Me – Pull The Plug – Protecting The Most Vulnerable – Little Red Hen Oil Company – Boiling The Frog

Don’t forget you can also experiment with a search word of your own choosing, like Frog or Barbarian or ?????

Have Fun and hope some of these articles make you think, whether you agree with my thoughts or not.  My goal has always been to stir thought, not agreement.  I’m not with the Kool Aid drinking crowd.  I am also “WOKE” Free and proud of it.

Bob Bandy – November 2022

PANCHO VILLA – MONEY LAUNDERER

September 21, 2022 By: bob Category: Humor, On Bob's Mind, Something To Think About

 

Pancho Villa and His Army of the North

 

Recently I was thumbing through some old Mexico Revolutionary currency I have and came across the below 20 Peso Currency Note which reminded me of a colorful and  interesting piece of historical trivia .  It inspired me to write the following, hopefully poignant bit of possible conjunction of purpose by rulers and leaders with similar goals. 

Pancho Villa had a long and colorful career and there are many stories and contradictions in his biography.  There are numerous  books available and even a Google search is rich with different accounts of his life.  Records of his early life are at best sketchy and often contradictory.  It does appear that in his formative years he worked at various jobs from mining to being a Mule Skinner to soldier in the Mexican Army.

He was an early supporter of Mexican President Francisco Madero,  a successful General, a ruthless Revolutionary Leader, a “Bandit”, for a time supported by America, later renounced by President Woodrow Wilson, pursued by American General Pershing (unsuccessfully), Train Robber, “Robin Hood”, “De-facto” Governor General of the State of Chihuahua,  Commander of his Army of the North, etc. etc..  His complete history is diverse to say the least.

Historically many considered him a hero of the Mexican Revolution, others a vicious outlaw who considered himself a sort of Robin Hood.  He led his armies to many victories including the famous battle for Zacatecas against a seemingly overwhelming Federal Army force.  He also robbed trains for the Silver Bullion they carried and in at least one case his forces killed all but one person on a train including a sizeable number of innocent civilians.

So, depending on your sources and viewpoint he was either a “good guy” Robin Hood or a vicious, heartless “Bandit” killer.  After the Revolution was over the Mexican Government “retired” him to a large Hacienda Rancho which they gifted to him.  He was assassinated in July 1923 in his 1919 Dodge on his way back to his Rancho.

I give to you this very brief and limited biography by way of introduction to an often reported story of how he sometimes raised money to pay for his “Army”.  His troops wanted to be paid in gold and silver because Mexico was “awash” in paper money of little value.  Pancho Villa and his troops would ride into a town or village, go into the local bank and demand all their gold and silver but then tell the “victims” of their visit that “We are not bandits and are not stealing from you.”  “We are paying for your gold and silver with this money” and then leaving the banks with bundles of currency printed under the authority of his “Army of the North” for the State of Chihuahua.  They created virtually bales and bales of this currency and it was, as you can guess, worthless.  You could say it was Pancho Villa’s way of “laundering” money – bad for good.

I find some humor in this story because at one time the United States was on a Gold and Silver Standard and currency was issued and payable at the United States Treasury in real Gold and Silver.  The United States went off the Gold Standard in 1933 and officially ended the Silver Standard in 1935 though they continued minting 90% Silver coins until 1964 and “Silver Certificates” were then discontinued and no longer redeemable in Silver the following year.  What followed was a “fiat” currency and coinage backed up by a Federal Reserve system. 

Now, the United States is considering a “digital” currency which would be “loaded” on a credit card like instrument for wallet or purse.  This digital currency would be monitored electronically and under the complete control of the government who could leave you “penniless” with a few keystrokes on a computer by a bureaucrat should you anger the government in any way.  I wrote about this in a previous article: “A Joe Biden Digital Currency Future?”  If this happens there would be a date certain that all remaining paper currency in circulation would be de-monetized and no longer “legal tender”, i.e. as worthless as Pancho Villa’s State of Chihuahua paper notes.

So.  What is the difference in what Pancho Villa did and what the U.S. Government is in the process of doing?  Has our own Federal Reserve System and Treasury simply studied history and set a path to “rob” the citizenry using a method perfected by Pancho Villa?

Not so funny:  Could there be a time in the not too distant future when a well armed FBI or IRS “Army” rides up and knocks on your door to tell you it is no longer legal for you to own gold or silver (which you control) because the government needs it in the interests of “National Security”.  But, not to worry, they are not stealing your gold and silver and will pay you for it with “Digital Dollars” (which they control).  Hmmmmm.  You think it can’t happen? 

Something to think about.

Bob Bandy – September 2022

MOTHER OF ALL CONSPIRACIES – X2

August 05, 2022 By: bob Category: Culture, Humor, In the News, On Bob's Mind, Something To Think About

 

I seem to be in a retrospective period at this time and with all the madness and destruction coming out of both Washington D C and Sacramento, California I find myself looking back to a time when I saw more humor in the “Tragi-Comedy” chaos being imposed on our lives by our “leaders”. 

I also get requests from readers to republish “favorite” articles from the past that are still relevant today.  The following is a piece I wrote some 11+ years ago in an attempt to provide some humor to salve the pain of the damage being done by those we elect to “protect & serve” us in public office.  

SOMETIMES SATIRE IS MORE INSTRUCTIVE THAN ANGER

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MOTHER OF ALL CONSPIRACIES

If  I wanted to destroy the United States economy and impoverish its citizens here is what I would do in five steps:

Step 1.  I would seek out and recruit incompetent people to infiltrate and take charge of our government.  Next, I would split them into two groups, which I will call, lets see, how about “Congress” and “Administration”.  The folks chosen  need not be co-conspirators,  just big spenders with big egos and no common sense.  All of these folks would be given unlimited borrowing and spending  power and the bills would be sent to the taxpayers.

Step 2.  I would have laws and regulations passed to make it nearly impossible for any individual or company to drill, mine, extract or in any way acquire any of the natural resources we need as a nation, within the physical boundaries or territorial waters of the United States.  All such needed materials would be required to be imported, preferably from countries not friendly to us.  This would be done in the name of protecting the environment.

Step 3.  I would have the government pass laws and regulations to punish hard work and financial success either by individuals or companies with a combination of regulations, fees and  confiscatory taxes.    For whatever “profits” were left over after the fees and taxes were paid I would unleash packs of morally bankrupt, ravenous Trial Lawyers to file endless lawsuits and litigation.   This would encourage any individual or company to move production (and jobs) out of the U.S. to places with more friendly environments to manufacturing and employers.

Step 4.  I would have “my” government reward laziness, incompetence and failure with government handouts, grants, promotions, do nothing projects and various “freebies”.  These same people could later be hired into government make work  jobs in a variety of government agencies and departments  where nothing useful or productive is accomplished or expected.   That way they could continue to get paid for producing nothing and retire to fat lifetime pensions and benefits .  They would fit right in.

Step 5.  I would make sure the government kept increasing the national debt to the point that even paying the interest on the debt became impossible.  They could then destroy any remaining wealth in the country by hyper-inflating the currency,  just as Germany did following World War I.   In Germany at that time it got to the point that it took a wheelbarrow full of money to buy a loaf of bread.  For a more recent example one need only look to Zimbabwe where inflation reached 79600000000% per month in just the last couple of years. 

What’s that you say?   I’m too late?  Somebody stole my idea? 

(From February 2011)

Bob Bandy – August 2022

Al Gore – Pseudo-Scientist And Prophet of Climate Change

July 29, 2022 By: bob Category: Humor, On Bob's Mind, Something To Think About

Image

Former Vice President Al Gore

Scientists tell us that some 10,000 years ago the earth was largely a kind of round ice and snowball and early mankind, if the phrase is still allowed, wandered around up to their butts in ice and snow, eating their muskox raw from the bone with little as a side dish other than a few snowberries.

Then, these early folks discovered fire and that muskox tasted better as a tasty burger cooked over the fire than it did raw.  These were the true perpetrators of the beginning of “man made global warming and climate change”.  This is science fact at work.

Since then politicians with an agenda have been providing bags of taxpayer cash to “researchers” at colleges and universities to provide statistics that prove that man is causing global warming with our modern technology.  The understanding is that these bags of research cash will only continue if the politicians get the statistical evidence they want so they can write laws telling all of us citizens what we can and cannot do.  

These politicians and “researchers” never mention that “mankind” actually occupies a small percentage of 1% of the 30% of our earth that is land, the other 70% of the earth being covered by oceans.  Except on a very localized basis, we feeble humans do not have the ability, even with all of our supposed technology, to change the earths average temperature by more than a miniscule fraction of 1 degree.  Our sun goes through long periods of greater and lesser outputs of energy and that along with other natural phenomena, like volcanoes, are the real contributors to the cycles of warming and cooling of our planet. 

Over the years we have been blessed, or plagued with pseudo wannabe scientists and politicians predicting everything from global freezing to global warming as well as other end of civilization catastrophes unless their “solutions” were followed immediately and to the letter.  They have all been wrong but some few have made themselves wealthy by creating a following of “kool-aid” drinkers of their teaching.

Perhaps one of the biggest “hucksters” of all is former Vice President Al Gore who has made a fortune with his book, “An Inconvenient Truth” – 2006, and his following exploitation and “marketing” of his conjecture, all of which was supposed to happen many years ago.  Let’s look at some of his “predictions” and “science” while on his way to the bank:

1. Rising Sea Levels – inaccurate and misleading. Both Al Gore and former President Barack Obama have since bought Beachfront Mansions

2. New Ice Age in Europe – they’ve been spared; it never happened.

3. South Sahara Drying Up – completely untrue.

4. Massive Flooding in China and India – again, didn’t happen.

5. Polar Bear Extinction – The Polar Bear population is increasing.

6. The Earth would be in a “True Planetary Emergency Within a Decade Unless Drastic Action was Taken to Reduce Greenhouse Gasses” – never happened.

Al Gore made many other predictions. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Still he has created a huge following of “true believers” and a near panic in some quarters.

It’s all largely “Junk Science” though there are many well meaning and sincere believers.

For more on the subject read Junk Science Ala Carte which I published back in November of 2019 (use Search box). 

Keep in mind that our Al Gore is predicting the oceans will soon engulf much of our most beautiful shorelines with rising water levels due to melting of the polar icecaps.  Maybe that is why he bought himself that ocean front mansion with the dollars he has extracted from all his followers.

I will close with a quote from Patrick Moore: 

Patrick Moore – Former President of Greenpeace has stated it well: “There is no definitive scientific proof through real-world observation that carbon dioxide is responsible for any of the slight warming of global climate which has occurred during the past 300 years.” He rejects the “science is settled” and “the debate is over” statements so popular in worldwide media.

Bob Bandy  –  July 2022

KINGDOM OF THE LOCUST REVISITED

July 14, 2022 By: bob Category: Culture, Humor, In the News, On Bob's Mind, Something To Think About

 

This one is too easy.  Listening this morning to statistics on migration from states like, California, New York, Illinois etc. to states like Texas, Utah, Montana, Florida.  Florida for example is getting 3,000 new residents a day from places like California, New York, Illinois etc.. 

You can call it Blue State to Red State migration or as one commentator called it:  “The U-Haul syndrome”.  For example, renting U-hauls to move out of California is very expensive.  Renting a U-Haul to move to California is real cheap.  

Remineded me of something I wrote nearly 10 years ago as a “take off” from an Aesop Fable.  

Worth repeating and it follows:

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KINGDOM OF THE LOCUST

with an apology to Aesop

Once upon a time there was a pleasant meadow in a lovely valley.

A colony of ants came to the meadow and saw that the land was good and with work would provide for a lovely place to live for them and their children.

They worked hard and put away food for the winter and cared for the land.

From a neighboring valley a tribe of locusts came to the land of the ants and decided to stay because the meadow was so pleasant and fertile.

The ants welcomed them in as neighbors and soon they all decided that they should form a government and each ant and locust would get an equal vote in the affairs of the meadow.

Some of the  locusts came to the ants and said they were poor and in need.  Being of kind heart the ants voted to share the fruits of their hard work with the locusts.

Being locusts, they did what locusts are prone to do, that is create lots of little locusts and sit in their burrows eating the food produced by the ants and watching their flat screen televisions paid for by the ants.

In time they discovered, as the little locusts grew up to vote, that they now outnumbered the ants and could vote themselves more and more of what the ants were working so hard to produce.

More and more locusts had baby locusts and invited their relatives and kin in from neighboring meadows.

One by one the ants figured out that they were doing all the work and the locusts were doing all the eating and loafing and watching television.

The ants decided that they did not want to continue to provide for an ever increasing number of locusts who did little to provide for themselves.

The ants packed up and left the now ravaged meadow and moved away to another meadow in another valley.

Winter came to the meadow of the abandoned locusts.  The locusts starved and froze because there was no longer any ants to provide for them what they refused to provide for themselves.

And the shadow of darkness fell over the formerly  pleasant meadow in the formerly lovely valley.

End of story.  If you are an ant you know the moral of the story.  If you are a locust you don’t care if there is a moral; you just want to know where the ants went.

Bob Bandy – July 2022

(originally published November 2012)

Gavin’s California Climate Change Car Solution

July 08, 2022 By: bob Category: Humor

California Governor Newsom Speaks On State's School Safety And Covid Prevention Efforts SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - OCTOBER 01: California Gov. Gavin Newsom speaks during a news conference after meeting with students at James Denman Middle School on October 01, 2021 in San Francisco, California. California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced that California will become the first state in the nation to mandate students to have a COVID-19 vaccination in order to attend in person classes. The mandate will go into effect at all private and public schools in the state when the FDA approves the vaccinations for students age and grade level. It is expected that 7th to 12th graders will likely have to have the vaccine by January of 2022. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images) Justin Sullivan / Staff

California Governor Gavin Newsom

Solar Powered Climate Change Solution Vehicle

 

California Governor Gavin Newsom has declared war on energy production in his fight against Global Climate Change.  It appears to be his belief that California can affect the natural progression of worldwide cooling and warming all by itself.  Never mind that the two most populous nations on earth, China & India, have only made vague promises to get on the climate change bandwagon at some time in the future while paying lip service to it now.

Back to the Governor.  He wants no new hydro-electric dams, no nuclear power, no natural gas production for power generating plants.  What he demands is dependence on Solar and Wind power.  The problem is that they are not reliable or sufficient to meet California’s energy demands.  At least not for another 10 – 20 years minimum.

This does not stop our intrepid Governor so he continues to “demand” conversion to electric automobiles, trucks, buses etc.

This conversion presents a challenge.  On really hot days California’s electric grid struggles to keep from having rolling “blackouts” because of the ever increasing demand for air conditioning leading the State to make Public Service Announcements instructing we citizens to curtail use of electrical appliances between 4 pm and 9 pm daily, the hottest part of the day, to “minimize the need for those rolling “blackouts”.  They also offer you a “money saving” household thermostat that lets them control the use of your air conditioning.  How helpful.

I have a question and solution for our “Progressive” Governor.

Question: “Governor Newsom, if your dreams come true and maybe 5 or 10 million California citizens convert to all electric vehicles, Tesla, Volt etc..  What is your plan when all of these climate change conscious folks get off work and go home and plug their electric vehicle in for a recharge? How is that going to work on an already overloaded electric grid in July and August with the thermometer reading 105 degrees throughout California?

Now for the solution to the Governor’s problem.  Actually not a new solution.  I wrote about this little beauty (pictured above) back in 2019 (and again in 2020) under the original title: Survival in an Idiocracy.  It described a “Turn Texas Green” cross country race.  It occurs to me that this is the perfect “off the grid” transportation solution to the Governor’s “problem”.

Why not put half of California’s drivers in one of these “mighty might power savers” for commuting to/from work instead of a Tesla or Volt?  Does not need to be plugged in.  Has its own solar panel.  Speeding tickets won’t be a problem with a top speed on a fully charged battery of less than 10 miles an hour.  A little cramped for dating or family outings but, so what, you are saving the planet.  Get a good warm jacket for winter driving.

Another option would be for the citizenry to hop on  California’s High Speed Rail System.  Oooops.  Sorry.  I forgot.  That’s our “Woke” Governor’s other fantasy.

I like to help out our governor whenever possible with non-polluting, climate saving solutions and this one offers an alternative built in pedaling system for non-sunny days (slight additional charge).  I feel better already.

Bob Bandy – July 2022