Stop Pulling the Wagon

I remember when my daughter was young and used to go to birthday skating parties with her friends.  They had an Arcade at the skating rink and I would often pass the time with the games there.  One of my favorites was Whack-A Mole where the object is to whack the moles on the head with the mallet as they pop their heads up through the holes.  I was remembering this recently and it got me to thinking…….

I keep hearing members of our government asking why businesses are not hiring more employees and why they are re-locating to sites outside the United States?

Have any of these people asking these questions ever tried to start a business?  Have they ever tried to keep a business going?

Being a business owner, or potential business owner is like being a Mole in a game of Whack-A-Mole. Only you are not trying to avoid just one “Whacker” but multiple “WHACKERS”.

You will need a permit or license.  WHACK!  Your city, county, state will require an application and fees.

Where is your Environmental Impact Report?   WHACK!   The EPA will need a completed report and a fees.

Need to hire employees?  WHACK!  More forms, more requirements, more regulations.

You will need insurance against everything that could possibly happen or create a potential liability.  WHACK!

Need to terminate an employee?  WHACK!  WHACK!  WHACK!  More forms, more regulations, more requirements and sometimes attorneys.

Government mandated Health Insurance.  WHACK!

Did I mention potential Union involvement?  WHACK!

You finally beat the odds and make a profit.  Its now tax time.  WHACK!

And the game goes on.  Can be a lot of fun…….   unless you’re the Mole.

Bob Bandy

I am sometimes asked what my political party affiliation is.  I once considered myself to be a John F. Kennedy kind of Democrat and many years later a Ronald Reagan kind of Republican.  These days neither one of these seems to fit anymore.  I have come to think of myself as a sort of Independent but that sounds too middle of the road and we all know what happens if we stand in the middle of  the road here in Califonia. 

In fact I am thinking of starting a new Political Party which I would simply call the Math Party.  To become a member of the Math Party you would only have to believe in the simple laws of mathematics.  If you wanted to run for elective office representing the Math Party you would have to demonstrate that you can get at least a ‘B’ on a Third Grade Math quiz.   And, if you wanted to run for President under the Math Party Banner you would have to show us your Third Grade Diploma.  The real one.

You see, I have become absolutely convinced that no political party now representing us in Washington D.C. (or for that matter Sacramento, California) can do Third Grade Math.  They sure can’t add or subtract.  In fact, they act more like a teenage boy with the keys to dad and moms new car,  a bottle of Jack Daniels Old No. 7 Brand and a credit card.  When asked to solve a relatively straight forward math problem like, say, doing a budget for the country that does not involve spending money we don’t have, they instead come up with a plan to “reduce the deficit 12 to 16 years “down the road” (when they are no longer in office).

So what do you think?  Would a political party that believes in the simple laws of mathematics have a chance?  Or, have we all become addicted to believing in the Tooth Fairy and just want to hope that Uncle Sugar in Washington has a bottomless checkbook?

I don’t know………….     

Bob Bandy

ALMOST FREE MONEY?

I remember years ago when out daughter was young.  We wanted to go to someplace special but the wallet was empty.  Our daughter said there was no problem, we could just go get some money out of the machine at the store.  We tried to explain to her the concept of first putting money into the bank before the machine would give us money, but, no luck.  She thought the machine was magic.

Well, thanks to modern technology, the folks at BETTER LIVING THROUGH MONEY MAGIC can now offer you the newest and greatest personal ATM ever.   The MONEY MAGIC MACHINE. Their engineers have managed to combine an old fashioned ATM machine with a state of the art printer. 

Introducing the all new and improved Money Magic Machine.  Once you have this handy little gadget installed in your family room you need never be short of cash again.  Want a new car.  No problem!  Big screen T.V..  You got it!  Trip around the world.  Pay cash!   Just put in your “Money Magic” card (sold separately),  enter your secret PIN number and out comes all the money you need.  Its a $500 value but we are offering it today for only $19.95 (plus shipping and handling).

As an added bonus we will include our newest “lap-top” traveling companion version of the Money Magic Machine which can travel with you everywhere!   Its a $399 value but we will include it FREE.   (just pay separate shipping and handling).

Order in the next half hour and we will include two boxes of our Money Magic pre-cut currency paper and a full gallon of our special Money Magic green ink.  (Just pay separate shipping and handling.)  

But wait, there’s still more!  Pay with an I O U  and we’ll double the offer.  Thats two Money Magic Machines plus two lap top versions of the Money Magic Machine plus four boxes of pre-cut  Money Magic currency paper and two full gallons of the Money Magic green ink.  (Just pay separate shipping and handling.)

Thats over $1000 worth of  Money Magic products all for only $19.95 (plus a whole bunch of shipping and handling).

Order yours today and start living the good life with all the money you could ever need or want.  Its Money Magic!

And,  not to worry.  This product has been tested extensively and is still in use by our very own United States Federal Reserve System in co-operation with the United States Treasury Department, where,  it has been, and is still being used to produce hundreds and hundreds of Billions (and now Trillions) of  Money Magic Paper Dollars.  All with no need to put money into the bank first and is being covered with I.O.U.s which will be paid for by your children and grand-children.

LIFE IS  MONEY MAGIC  GOOD!     

Bob Bandy

(Not sold in any store but only through this special offer)

JUST FOR FUN AND WITH TONGUE IN CHEEK. 

If  I wanted to destroy the United States economy and impoverish its citizens here is what I would do in five steps:

Step 1.  I would seek out and recruit incompetent people to infiltrate and take charge of our government.  Next, I would split them into two groups, which I will call, lets see, how about “Congress” and “Administration”.  The folks chosen  need not be co-conspirators,  just big spenders with big egos and no common sense.  All of these folks would be given unlimited borrowing and spending  power and the bills would be sent to the taxpayers.

Step 2.  I would have laws and regulations passed to make it nearly impossible for any individual or company to drill, mine, extract or in any way acquire any of the natural resources we need as a nation, within the physical boundaries or territorial waters of the United States.  All such needed materials would be required to be imported, preferably from countries not friendly to us.  This would be done in the name of protecting the environment.

Step 3.  I would have the government pass laws and regulations to punish hard work and financial success either by individuals or companies with a combination of regulations, fees and  confiscatory taxes.    For whatever “profits” were left over after the fees and taxes were paid I would unleash packs of morally bankrupt, ravenous Trial Lawyers to file endless lawsuits and litigation.   This would encourage any individual or company to move production (and jobs) out of the U.S. to places with more friendly environments to manufacturing and employers.

Step 4.  I would have “my” government reward laziness, incompetence and failure with government handouts, grants, promotions, do nothing projects and various “freebies”.  These same people could later be hired into government make work  jobs in a variety of government agencies and departments  where nothing useful or productive is accomplished or expected.   That way they could continue to get paid for producing nothing and retire to fat lifetime pensions and benefits .  They would fit right in.

Step 5.  I would make sure the government kept increasing the national debt to the point that even paying the interest on the debt became impossible.  They could then destroy any remaining wealth in the country by hyper-inflating the currency,  just as Germany did following World War I.   In Germany at that time it got to the point that it took a wheelbarrow full of money to buy a loaf of bread.  For a more recent example one need only look to Zimbabwe where inflation reached 79600000000% per month in just the last couple of years. 

What’s that you say?   I’m too late?  Somebody stole my idea? 

Like I said.  Just for Fun.  Something to think about.           ……..Bob

WOULDN’T IT BE FUN!

Just for fun, sit back, close your eyes and daydream about (fill in your choice of Congress man/woman – Senator or member of the Administration) appearing before Judge Judy and answering five questions you would like straight simple answers to.  Not the usual Washington “Speak” or “Spin” we get when these same folks are asked similar questions by the media.

For my part I will propose five questions I would like Judge Judy to ask them.  Your own questions might be different.

1.  Madam Speaker: Tell me exactly what did you mean when you said we needed to pass the Obama Health Care Act so we could find out what is in it?

2. Mr. President:  You promised that the $787 Billion Dollar Stimulus Plan would keep unemployment below 8%.  It is now 9.6%.  Without blaming the previous administration, please explain why this promise was not kept. 

3. Congressman Frank:  When tighter regulation of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac was proposed by the Bush Administration in 2003 you stated that “Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were not facing any kind of financial crisis”.  Your saying this is well documented.  You were wrong.  Why do you now deny making such statements?

4.  Mr. Vice President:  Los Angeles was given $111 Million Dollars to create and save jobs.  With this money they “created” or “saved” 55 jobs at a cost of over $2 Million Dollars per job.  Please explain in simple terms where that $111 Million Dollars is today.

5. To various spokespersons for the Administration:  In January 2007 the Democratic Party took control of both the House of Representatives and the Senate.  The Deficit for 2007, including the cost of the war in Iraq, was less than $200 Billion Dollars.  For 2008 the deficit increased to over $400 Billion Dollars.  For 2009 the deficit just about tripled to more than $1.4 Trillion Dollars.  2010 numbers are not yet finalized but are on a path to be around $1.4 Trillion Dollars.  With both houses of Congress under Democratic control since January 2007 and the Presidency in Democratic hands since January 2009,  please tell us again who drove the economy into the ditch?

These questions are posed to the current administration but equally interesting questions could be posed to an administration of another political party in power in Washington.  The fun would be in watching Judge Judy verbally disect the person being questioned when they try to use “talking points” instead of straightforward, honest answers. 

I believe that many/most members of both major political parties are just as dysfunctional as many/most of the people who appear before Judge Judy airing their “dirty linen” before 20 million people in endless re-runs for the next upteen years.     

I often discipline myself with the thought of “what would I do in this situation if I knew I would have to explain my actions to Judge Judy before millions of people?”

Just for fun…..                                Bob

I AM SORRY TO SAY than in my mind our current government has become little more than a dis-organized criminal enterprise.  if it were an organized criminal activity it would be efficient and not Thirteen Trillion Dollars in debt.

Howver, instead of just complaining about Government on a Federal (and most States) basis I have an obligation to say what I believe  Government  should look like and what I think it should be responsible for.  Especially what I have observed it is capable of doing resonably well even if not cost effectively.

Let me think:

1.  Provide for the nations defense and prevent armed and unarmed invasion by foregin powers and masses.  Secure our borders. 

2.  Uh…….Give me a little time……..  I’m trying to think of something else I want the Federal Government to be in charge of. 

In the process of (re)building the Federal Government we should examine all current Federal Departments and Agencies.

For example:

The Department of Energy was formed in the 1970’s with the goal of making the U.S.  LESS  dependent on foreign oil.  At the time we were importing about 30% of the oil we used.  Today, the Department of Engergy has a budget of more than 24 Billion Dollars and we are importing  70% of the oil we use.  If this were a private enterprise it would be broke and out of business.

How about the Federal Department of Education?  Could someone please tell me what the purpose of this department truly is?   Again we have liftime employment and benefits for those who work there but aside from that, I am unaware of any real, practical, positive help they provide my local schools.  Sorry,  issuing ill-conceived, unwanted and often unfunded “mandates” don’t count.  Our schools are best managed on a local basis with very little interference from State Government and none from the “Feds”.

I could continue department by department and agency by agency but will instead let the reader think of all the the Federal Agencies and Departments they come in contact with and ask themselves what they truly accomplish other than issue a lot of regulations and rules which complicate and make our lives more difficult and expensive.  To me, it does not count that these Departments and Agencies provide a place where employees shuffle papers around and build “Kingdoms”.  

Do any of these agencies or departments ever get “sun-setted” or shut down no matter how ineffective or wasteful they are?  If so, can you name one? 

Even programs and agencies most of us could support like Social Security, Medicare and a few others are so horribly mis-managed, stolen from (by Congress) and inefficient that they are un-sustainable and virtually bankrupt.  In the long term the only way the government will be able to make Social Security viable is to keep increasing the age of eligibility to the point that we qualify for benefits one month before we die. 

I would ask the reader to make a list of the Departments and Agencies that they believe Government manages efficiently and cost effectively.  How about the Postal Service?    

Your own thoughts are welcome and it is okay to disagree.

Just something to think about.                             …..BOB