Stop Pulling the Wagon

ETHICAL TREATMENT FOR SQUIRRELS NOW! 

I hope you will join me today in this newly founded organization dedicated to the rights and care of our long tailed furry brothers and sisters.

There are no forms to fill out.  No meetings.  No dues.  No age restrictions. 

Just a silent pledge made in private to do your part for the welfare of  these beautiful creatures who give us so much and ask for nothing in return.

Squirrels do not lie to you.

They are not corrupt.

They do not demand your tax dollars. 

They do not ask for your vote.

They do not try to control every aspect of your life.

You do not have to license them with some government agency.

they are fun to watch.

And…..

After the Dark Lords of Mordor in Sacramento complete the destruction of California and turn it into the Venezuela of North America with an economy in ruins and nothing to eat…..

…..Our squirrel friends will still be here to continue to serve us…..

They make tasty stews and and warm winter hats.

Bob Bandy

This writing is meant to be a humorous look at life in the “new” Progressive California.

It is all true but it is not my intent to offend anyone, or perhaps, it is my intent to offend everyone, myself included, with the goal that we should all learn to laugh at ourselves when we view the results of our “good intentions”.

California is now a “Sanctuary State”, or more accurately a non-state since you cannot have a defined Country or State that does not have borders.  Everyone is now a citizen and you cannot be questioned about where you came from or how you got here.  No papers required.  Criminal history cannot be questioned.  

ISIS Bomb Maker – no documents required!  Drug Cartel Hit Man – You don’t need no “stinking papers”!  North Korean Saboteur – Come On Down!

If you want a practical demonstration of this take down all the fences around your house and allow free access to your yard and belongings.  While we’re at it, let’s also remove all the fences around all of California homes and businesses.  And, let us not forget to do the same for our friends in the Legislatures and all the folks in Hollywood.   Now lets see what happens to the Constitutional concept of “private ownership of private property”.

California is now a State where a prospective employer can be jailed or sued by a prospective employee if they question their immigration status, criminal history, Gender identity or belief in man made global warming.  This same prospective employer can also be sued by their customers if it turns out, for example, an employee has a criminal history and it was not disclosed to customers.

California is now a State where a worker in a Rest Home can be jailed if they address a patient by a gender title which the patient finds offensive on that particular day.  Subject to the patients right to change their gender identity “at will”.

California is a place where, if I wanted to, I could decide to be male on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Female on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  On Saturdays I could decide that I am a gender neutral Martian that is undocumented. No-one would be allowed to even question this, and, if they did I could sue them or have them jailed.  And, as a Martian I am only 44 years old.

The new “Progressive” California is a place where drug testing can be required to get a job to earn money (which will be taxed) but you cannot be drug tested to get “free” money in Public Aid to use as you see fit including spending that money on more drugs.

California is a State where you will not be jailed for stealing as long as you keep the total value of the items you steal to less than $940.  They can write you a ticket/citation but it is only a Misdemeanor and not a Felony.  There have been documented cases of thieves filling up shopping carts with items worth “only” a few hundred dollars and then giving Store Security the finger on their way out of the parking lot.  By the way,  Shopping carts are now “free” in California.  Note the “Citizen” in the photo above at his “residence” on the Streets in San Francisco.

California is the only State where if you steal a gun – worth less than $940 – it is a misdemeanor and you will be given a citation/ticket but if you buy a gun legally and are caught with it in your possession on the street without a State approved “Permit” it is a Felony and you can be given jail time and fines.  “Honest officer – I stole this gun – just give me the citation.”

I could go on with much more but why?  

California!  It’s a wonderful life!

You can’t make this stuff up.

Bob

I have information from reliable but nameless and secret sources that the State of California is very near announcement of a two fold plan for a Fair Share Universal Tax to help fund the War on Global Climate Change.

First, in recognition that exhaling releases carbon dioxide gas which is a contributor to Global Climate Change,  every resident or visitor to the State of California will be required to have a micro chip implant that will both monitor and report each time they exhale to the State of California.

This data will be forwarded to the Franchise Tax Board who will calculate the tax due and be responsible for collecting the scheduled tax from “Breathers”.  At the time of this writing the tax rate being considered is one tenth of a cent per exhale.  This may seem  a paltry sum until one calculates that the average adult respiratory rate is about 15 times per minute or 900 times per hour.  Do a little math and the average cost of exhaling in California will be about 90 cents an hour or $21.60 a day.

This tax can be avoided by simply no longer exhaling and residents and visitors can take comfort in the fact that inhaling is still free.  At least for now.

For the Second phase of this battle consideration is being given to the fact that methane is also a contributor to Global Climate Change and it is the responsibility of all of us to pay our Fair Share Tax in the battle to monitor and reduce the release of this gas into California’s breathable air resources.

It is also a scientific fact that flatulence is a major contributor to the release of methane into the atmosphere. Therefore, California is creating a new agency to monitor and tax the unwanted release of this gas.  To fund this Board and its employees a new source of revenue will be created through the establishment of a Flatulence Air Resource Tax.

Under development is a new monitoring device to be worn by all residents and visitors on the rear upper portion of the thigh which will sense, tabulate and report to the Board all releases of methane gas by the wearer.

The Board will then forward this information to the California Franchise Tax Board who will be responsible for billing and collecting the approved tax.  At this writing a rate of $1.00 per release is under consideration.  Think of it as an exhaust gas tax.

Taxpayers can avoid this tax by simply not releasing any methane gas through the monitored process.

The State agency for this Board is reporting some difficulty in recruiting, hiring and training workers who will be responsible for checking and monitoring individuals at random to be sure they are wearing the methane release and sound monitoring device and that it is working properly.

Formal announcement of this new Fair Share Tax and implementation of monitoring should be released through the media within the next 60 days.

All tax rates are subject to review and increase depending on Battlefield Assessment Reports from the ongoing War against Global Climate Change and subject to review and correction by former Vice President Al Gore.

What could possibly go wrong?

Bob Bandy

It is very clear to me that I am a slow learner.

What is the old saying?  One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

For 50+ years I have faithfully participated in our system of government.  Working, paying taxes and voting for the person whom I honestly felt best qualified for whatever position needed to be filled.

In the process I have unwittingly contributed to help create a system filled with what I like to call “Clowns, Criminals and Lunatics” in charge of a poorly organized, mostly criminal enterprise that robs its own citizens while rewarding corruption and theft.

Not to say that all members of Congress fit this description but the 2 or 3 percent who do not fit the description are totally outgunned by the 97 or 98 percent who do.

They have littered our history with the rot and debris of failed government “programs” and left us with an ever growing percentage of  our citizenry enslaved and addicted to a government funded by runaway debt.  At this writing some 20 Trillion Dollars worth and growing.

What I observe is self serving politicians working for their own re-election goals and not the needs of their constituents.  Corruption and greed on a massive scale.  Political correctness twisted to serve political agendas.

Once Government declared War on Poverty.  Poverty won.

I no longer expect anything out of government but lies, corruption, failed programs and debt.  After 50 years why should I expect anything else?  Lie to me once – shame on you.  Lie to me a thousand times – shame on me.  To borrow from one of my earlier writings:  “Expecting something good to come out of Washington is like fishing for your dinner in a septic tank”.

Some of these programs were well intentioned but misguided and horribly mismanaged.  Instead of helping the needy  to grow into confident self sufficient individuals, they created addicts to the slavery of dependency on the drug of a cancerous charity that steals their freedom and dignity.

One of life’s great truths: Forced charity breeds resentment. If you take by force the fruits of those who worked for them to enrich those who will not work for themselves, you create enmity and bitterness on both the unwilling giver and the ungrateful receiver.

Recently I heard a commentator say that it is not worthwhile to read or listen to the “Drive By” “Mainstream Media”.  Most of which have become nothing more than a public forum of “Innuendo”, “lies from anonymous sources”, “Talking Points”, “Propaganda” and other agenda driven non-news.  At first I was inclined to reject his advice but on further thought it finally registered with me that he was right. All reading and listening to this “drivel” accomplishes is to make me mad and insult my intelligence.

Soooooo…….

I have determined to accept the fact that our government is, with or without my participation, firmly on the path to economic destruction and cultural ruin and I want to minimize my part in this endeavor to an absolute legal minimum.

I will, to the best of my ability, violate no laws but I sure “ain’t” going to help them either.

I will focus my own efforts to helping those I care about find a way to survive the chaos and destruction that is sure to come.  “A house divided”.

At some point the “Government” is going to find their “wagon” abandoned with no one left to pull it.

Bob Bandy

True story but I wrote this just for fun.

In the early and mid 1960’s the Army was not politically correct.  The Army used what can best be described as a  “destroy the old you and make you into the new Army you” method in Basic and Advanced Training.  At least that was their plan.

During “Basic Training” I learned to survive the Army’s version, at that time, of Hell.  I am told that in the modern incarnation it has become more genteel.  In those days it meant little sleep, being treated like a convict on Devils Island, long marches, verbal abuse, almost inedible food, etc.

After “Basic Training” you graduated to “Advanced Training”.  In my case I was sent to be trained on “Indirect Fire” weapons.  Mortar Gunnery School.  Unlike Rifles or Artillery, which are, at least in theory, “Direct Fire” weapons, the Mortar is fired high into the sky and, done properly, comes raining down out of the sky on your enemy like “Fire and Brimstone” on Sodom and Gomorra.

I also learned that the Mortar is a useful fishing accessory but that’s another story.

In addition to learning how to kill your enemy without ever seeing them, I think the most valuable thing I learned in Advanced Training was the magic of the clipboard.  It was a ticket to freedom on many days.

Walk around with a clipboard containing several pages of paperwork and others assumed you were working on a task of some kind. That clipboard would make those NCO’s and Officers who  had the power of making your life miserable more likely target those whose hands were empty for such enterprises as moving a pile of rocks from one side of the Parade Ground to the other on a day when it was 102 degrees in the non-existent shade.

By the time I made Sergeant I had turned the use of the clipboard into an art form.  It very often bought me many hours of leisure in place of undesired labor at menial tasks.

Want to have some fun?

In civilian life I observed that many public “servants” and private workers who serve the public, do not like note takers as they fear what might come back to haunt them from carefully documented note pages.

So, I substitute a notebook for my army clipboard.

I like to take a notebook with me when needing to visit the offices of sometimes surly City, County, State or Federal employees.  It also is helpful in commercial public enterprises.

For example, you might want to try this:

In a public office or private enterprise, enter and walk up to the counter. After making sure you are being observed,  take out and open your notebook and, looking at your watch or the clock on the wall, make note of the date and time. Then, with a friendly smile say “Good Morning” and ask the clerk for their name or copy it carefully from their name badge into your notebook.   If they ask you what you are doing,  just smile and say that your memory is not so good and you need notes to remind you of the purpose of your visit and what you accomplished during your time there.  Make  some notes to yourself in the notebook during the visit. At all times, and despite any aggravation, remain, pleasant and courteous. It works even better if you have a silent friend with you who just listens and smiles.

You might be amazed at the polite, helpful, even courteous service this usually leads to.

A little planning ahead and a clipboard, notebook or other prop can greatly enrich your life.

I have many fun examples I could share from my experiences but enough for now.

Bob Bandy

A STORY OF TWO ORGANIZATIONS

One is a ruthless, efficient, organized criminal enterprise.  

The other is a ruthless, corrupt, inefficient, dysfunctional, poorly organized criminal enterprise that can’t balance its own books.

One of these organizations is operated by professional criminals.

The other is comprised of a few good men and women.  The other 98% are clowns, criminals and lunatics.  Sort of Larry, Moe and Curly on steroids trying to be a well oiled criminal enterprise.

Which is which?  Here is a hint.  One of them is 19 Trillion Dollars in debt.

If you had a license to legally pick the pockets of everyone in America don’t you think you could at least break even?

Meet your government.  They “legally” tax your income, your property, most everything you buy, your phone, water, gas, electric, cable television, etc. etc. bill. They also attach fees and assessments to your property tax bill.  They even charge sales tax on the “other taxes” on gasoline and many other items.   As the comedian Gallagher once said “Everywhere you leak they hang a bucket!”

Despite government’s ability to rob us endlessly, they still run deficits, then tax us to pay the interest on the debt that they created.  Talk about “creative accounting”!

Not to worry though.  Soon we will be given the choice for a new “Dear Leader” to guide us further down the path of bloated government and overwhelming debt for our children and grandchildren which will have to be “paid for” with devalued and inflated dollars.

Looks like we will be able to choose between “Hillary” (if she can stay out of jail) or “The Donald”.  What could possibly go wrong?

Bob Bandy