Stop Pulling the Wagon

Captain Jean-Luc Picard/Locutus Borg

Being old enough to remember  “Star Trek – The Next Generation” series I am finding similarities between the “New” Progressive Political movement and the Borg ‘Collective’.

The Borg were major players in some Twenty One episodes total but I remember them first in Season Two – Episode 16 – titled: “Q Who?”  

The Borg are “beings” with both Organic and Cybernetic Implants that function as a “One Mind Collective” of Drones who are incapable of independent thought and function more as a single purpose “Hive” controlled by one central entity.

Hmmmm.  

Just the other day I heard Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi inform Democratic members of the “House” that they were to vote as a “Team” and voting with the Republicans was not allowed.  

Later, Democratic Freshman Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told fellow Democrats that any of them caught voting with the Republicans would go on a “List” that would be used against them at the next election.

I don’t know about you but this sounds a lot like the Borg to me.  No independent thought allowed. No independent action allowed.  All are just “Drones” subject to the direction of “Central Command”.  

It gives me the feeling that the Progressive Left plans to convert all of us into “Borg Drones” trained to obey while they Create a Socialist State.  Maybe like the one in Venezuela or Cuba?

Below is a checklist for creating a Socialist State.  Please tell me a single one of these items that the “Progressive Left” does not have on its agenda and now demands total compliance to from the Democrats  in congress. 

I can even add a couple or more items to this list.  Just one example: the”Green New Deal”. 

Copied from “The Federalist” – January 15, 2018

Are you ready for your “Cybernetic Implants”

Bob Bandy

Star Trek the Next Generation is available on NetFlix and from other sources.

Rule Number One – Smile – You can’t take these folks too seriously or it will make you crazy. Instead of getting mad it is better to keep our sense of humor and have some fun.

Let’s propose to the “Green New Deal” folks that they promote their ideas via sponsorship of a new Reality Show on television.  We could call it “Survivor Plus” and the challenge the contestants face will be called:  “The Turn Texas Green Race”.

The plan: A race across the state of Texas for the contestants in Solar Powered Cars (similar to the one above).

The race will be from the West Texas town of  El Paso to the East Texas town of Beaumont.  Distance: 830 miles through the heart of Texas.

Each car will be decorated with Bumper Stickers and signs that say things like:  NO MORE NRA – HILLARY IN 2020 – OUTLAW ALL GUNS – SHUT DOWN ALL OIL WELLS – NO MORE CATTLE.

First contestant to reach Beaumont, Texas alive wins a free lunch with Al Gore.

Second place winner will get two lunches with all Gore.

Any remaining surviving contestants that finish the race will win a three day stay at Al Gore’s Environment Friendly 10,070 square foot mansion/estate/home  sharing quarters with Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Congressman Adam Schiff and Congressman Jerry Nadler.  Sounds like a great time doesn’t it? 

Enjoy a tour of Al Gore’s reconstructed library.  His old library was destroyed in a fire and all three of his books burned, including one he had not finished coloring yet.

Have your mind stimulated at a third grade math class taught by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes.

Laugh yourself silly at the “Battle of Wits” between Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler.  Spirited intellectual debate between three unarmed combatants.

Indulge yourself at the Environment Friendly Bar-B-Que featuring cow-flatulent-free Tofu Burgers. Yum, Yum!

Just for entering the race, all contestants will receive an Al Gore autographed 8 x 10 glossy color photograph of his Environment Friendly private jet.

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This was written for fun and a smile.  Some of your friends and neighbors might enjoy this.  Many folks who call themselves “Progressives” demonstrate little to no sense of humor.  Share accordingly.

Bob Bandy

NINE BILLION DOLLARS LATER

Back then:  January 6, 2015.  On a wonderful day in downtown Fresno,  California Governor Jerry Brown, accompanied by federal officials and city leaders, held a ceremonial groundbreaking at the site of the planned high-speed rail station.  Planned construction of the first phase was scheduled to be completed in 3-5 years.

Now:  February 12, 2019.   California’s new Governor, Gavin Newsom,  announces plan to abandon California’s  goal of a high speed rail system between San Francisco and Los Angeles and announces a new plan  to completing a rail line between Merced to Bakersfield for a total of 165 miles.  Alternatively some published reports indicate completion only between Fresno and Bakersfield, a total of 110 miles. All subject to changes yet to be announced.

The above photo is a projection of the revised rail plan in operation down California’s Central Valley.  A happy Fresno family is zipping down the tracks for a fun  daylong tour of Bakersfield and the Oilfields followed by dinner at the local Truck Stop.  Finish the day with a return California High Speed Rail trip to Fresno.  Bakersfield and Fresno are both fine cities but it is hard to imagine them being the anchors for a profitable, high volume, high speed rail travel enterprise.  

This is California.  What could possibly go wrong?  

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As a kind of Postscript:  The following is from an article I wrote in Sept. 2013 about California’s High Speed Rail plans 

Against voter objections, California is now on a path to install the first phase of a High Speed Rail System using some Nine Billion borrowed  State and Federal Dollars.  The first phase has begun and should be completed in 3-5 years depending on lawsuits,  strikes, environmental reports, delays, cost overruns etc.

Upon completion of this first phase,  rail passengers will be able to drive some 15 miles west of their small central valley town to a rail station built on government seized, former farmland in the middle of nowhere.   Here they can park their car and board the High Speed Train traveling at speeds up to 160 miles per hour for some 28 miles to another rail station located on government seized, former farmland in the middle of nowhere.   On arrival at destination station,  they can disembark the train and get into another vehicle (friend, family member, bus or cab) and drive some 15 miles east to another small central valley town which, by the the way, is some 28 highway miles from their original point of departure in the small central valley town.  Disneyland, eat your heart out.

For those who think this is just another waste of money,  Government boondoggle and/or labor union payoff, California residents are promised that at some vague distant future date their grand children, or great-grand children will be able to travel from Los Angeles to San Francisco in about 2 hours  on a completed High Speed Rail system that will only cost about 40 Gazillion Dollars to complete and take some 15 -40 years to build.  Ticket prices on the High Speed Rail System are hoped to be only a few hundred dollars each way.

Did I mention that you can fly between San Francisco and Los Angeles in about an hour for around $100 on flights that leave every 30 minutes or so?

Completion of the whole High Speed Rail project is forecast by our governor for 2028 or so (fingers firmly crossed).

Of course, there may be a few delays.

Government negotiators are currently in meetings with Oprah Winfrey about running the future High Speed Train through the front yard of her Malibu mansion which just happens to lie on the only logical coastal route around the mountains between Bakersfield and the Los Angeles basin.

If those talks fail they will begin talks with the Sierra Club about  a sort of  Ski-Lift  operation (still in engineering design stages) to move the train over the mountains or, possibly, a forty mile tunnel through the mountains along the San Andreas Earthquake  fault line.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Bob Bandy

Original Story by Paul Galdone

Bob’s version of the Little Red Hen

ONCE UPON A TIME there was a little red hen who wanted to start her own oil company.

Who will help me find the oil she asked? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen.  I will find it myself, and she did.

Who will help me get the oil out of the ground she asked? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen.  So she did it herself.

Who will help me get the oil to the refinery? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen.  I will transport it myself, and she did.

Who will help me refine the oil into gasoline she asked? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen, I’ll do it by myself.  And she did.

Who will help me transport the gasoline to the Service Station she asked?  Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen, I will haul it there myself.

Finally the Little Red Hen’s gasoline is sold.

Who would like to share in the profits she asked?  

We would said the Federal Government and we demand 18.4 cents per gallon.

We would said California State Government and we demand 58.3 cents per gallon.

Looking in her pocketbook the Little Red Hen found that she only made a net profit of 7 cents per gallon.  (source Forbes & Factcheck)

Later, Federal Government and California State Government notified the Little Red Hen that since she was so greedy they were going to tax her income for the excessive profits she had made.  

7 cents a gallon profit.  Those darn oil companies sure are greedy aren’t they!

You can’t make this stuff up.

Bob Bandy

North Korea’s Dear Leader, Kim Jong Un, made a speech to his people the other day calling on them to do their duty by producing 200 pounds each day of “human fertilizer” to fertilize the farm fields of North Korea.

The radio commentator made some comment that, due to the generally diminutive size of the average North Korean because of their near starvation diet, it might be difficult for them to produce human waste in excess of their total body weight.    

I have an idea that should not only help solve North Korea’s fertilizer problem but also further the cause of Peace while bringing joy to the American heartland.

Let’s load up the United States Congress and send them on a combination extended field trip and peace mission to North Korea. 

If Congress can spread it around there the way they do here,  North Korea’s fertilizer problem will be solved and its agricultural fields will be a rich, verdant green in a short period of time.  

Further, when Congress returns to Washington D.C. we could permanently move the United Nations Headquarters from New York City to North Korea.  That should keep North Korean farmlands green for decades to come.

Everybody wins.  What could possibly go wrong?

Just trying to help out.

Bob Bandy

Aw…… The Sunset Years – A Look at the Golden Age of Life.

It is my intent that this be a satirical, if not whimsical look at the “Golden Years” of my time on this earth, having experienced life at both ends of the rainbow.  It is not meant to offend anyone, except perhaps in a humorous vein.  We all, including myself, need to be able to laugh at our foibles and the often unintended consequences of our good intentions and sometimes bad habits.

It was my original intent to title this: “The Thoughts and Shadowy Dreams of a Middle-Aged Man”.  But, that would only work if life expectancy is 152 years. 

I grew up in the automobile business having spent many of my happy younger years in auto repair shops with by father and uncle.  One of my early after high school jobs was working on a used car lot preparing cars for resale.  I have always loved cars so you will forgive me if I use an auto related theme in this little exercise.

I find myself driving down the road of life and at this point I am peering out the windshield, straining my old eyes for a look at the Golden Sunset years promised in all those stories and commercials through the years.  

You know the ones I mean.  Like the commercials where those generous, friendly  companies say they will  pay you cash for your Life Insurance policy now – pre-mortem – “giving”  you and your spouse the money to stroll through sun drenched meadows of wild flowers in your final years.  Of course they don’t mention in the ads that when you turn room temperature they will get the cash from your life insurance policy leaving your spouse and/or children with nothing except a final decision as to what to do with your remains.  Left to wonder if “the departed” would prefer a brown or grey cardboard box in which to make the final journey on this side of the veil.  Excuse the bit of macabre humor here.

You will forgive me if my eyes drift from the road ahead to some of the golden memories in the rear view mirror of years past from time to time.  

I had a very happy childhood and survived the usual drama of the teenage years to go out into the world and make lots of common mistakes and wrong turns at times.  School years, military time, lots of good friends, multiple work and career paths.  All the normal stuff in an average life.  Many great memories, some regrets for errors and pain along the way.  Finally met the right life partner and love of my life.  She gave us a beautiful and wonderful daughter and so many special memories.  Too many to begin to cover here.  A Great Life.  Trust me, a long and fond list of golden rear view mirror memories.

Returning my eyes to the road ahead on the other side of the windshield.  

I am thankful for my family and many friends and for my faith which carries me from day to day.  Still much joy there.  However…….

I often seem to find myself, with depleted resources, not allowed to eat any of my favorite foods, too weak to walk that beach again with my beloved wife, struggling  to complete what used to be simple repairs around our home.  That time in life when you realize that most of your  “get up and go” has “got up and went”. 

I have this theory that there is an insidious conspiracy and all those stories about the golden years were part of a “Big Lie” fed to us by a government and media whose only goal is to use us up and then turn us over to an assortment of financial vampires bent on sucking away whats left of our retirement “nest egg” and the scarred remains of our tattered Social (In)Security system.

Some of the members of this conspiratorial group are Government Bureaucrats, Insurance providers, the Medical Profession, the pharmaceutical Drug makers and  the Health Food industry. Their  mission in life is to cleanse the wallet and bank account of  their few remaining dollars as well as the last bit of joy of living while denying me the goodies I want and deserve.  

That is their mission and the first thing they think of when they get out of bed in the morning.  What can we do to make Bob’s life miserable and less joyous today?  In my heart of hearts I know this is true.  You are reading this on the internet so it has to be true.

If you believe the above to just be the raging paranoia of someone past their prime – a scary thought – there is a second theory.  I suppose that in full disclosure I could admit that maybe, just maybe some of my health issues just might be because of my own poor choices in food and life style. 

I should admit this but really don’t want to.  I prefer to believe in the first theory about a grand scheme to deprive me of my wife’s Best Anywhere Chocolate Chip Cookies.   I guess it would be fair to say that I choose the fantasy of the first theory over the reality and facts of the second theory. 

Rear view mirror or windshield?  Both are there.  I have to believe that’s good.

Bob Bandy – August 2018