Stop Pulling the Wagon

NINE BILLION DOLLARS LATER

Back then:  January 6, 2015.  On a wonderful day in downtown Fresno,  California Governor Jerry Brown, accompanied by federal officials and city leaders, held a ceremonial groundbreaking at the site of the planned high-speed rail station.  Planned construction of the first phase was scheduled to be completed in 3-5 years.

Now:  February 12, 2019.   California’s new Governor, Gavin Newsom,  announces plan to abandon California’s  goal of a high speed rail system between San Francisco and Los Angeles and announces a new plan  to completing a rail line between Merced to Bakersfield for a total of 165 miles.  Alternatively some published reports indicate completion only between Fresno and Bakersfield, a total of 110 miles. All subject to changes yet to be announced.

The above photo is a projection of the revised rail plan in operation down California’s Central Valley.  A happy Fresno family is zipping down the tracks for a fun  daylong tour of Bakersfield and the Oilfields followed by dinner at the local Truck Stop.  Finish the day with a return California High Speed Rail trip to Fresno.  Bakersfield and Fresno are both fine cities but it is hard to imagine them being the anchors for a profitable, high volume, high speed rail travel enterprise.  

This is California.  What could possibly go wrong?  

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As a kind of Postscript:  The following is from an article I wrote in Sept. 2013 about California’s High Speed Rail plans 

Against voter objections, California is now on a path to install the first phase of a High Speed Rail System using some Nine Billion borrowed  State and Federal Dollars.  The first phase has begun and should be completed in 3-5 years depending on lawsuits,  strikes, environmental reports, delays, cost overruns etc.

Upon completion of this first phase,  rail passengers will be able to drive some 15 miles west of their small central valley town to a rail station built on government seized, former farmland in the middle of nowhere.   Here they can park their car and board the High Speed Train traveling at speeds up to 160 miles per hour for some 28 miles to another rail station located on government seized, former farmland in the middle of nowhere.   On arrival at destination station,  they can disembark the train and get into another vehicle (friend, family member, bus or cab) and drive some 15 miles east to another small central valley town which, by the the way, is some 28 highway miles from their original point of departure in the small central valley town.  Disneyland, eat your heart out.

For those who think this is just another waste of money,  Government boondoggle and/or labor union payoff, California residents are promised that at some vague distant future date their grand children, or great-grand children will be able to travel from Los Angeles to San Francisco in about 2 hours  on a completed High Speed Rail system that will only cost about 40 Gazillion Dollars to complete and take some 15 -40 years to build.  Ticket prices on the High Speed Rail System are hoped to be only a few hundred dollars each way.

Did I mention that you can fly between San Francisco and Los Angeles in about an hour for around $100 on flights that leave every 30 minutes or so?

Completion of the whole High Speed Rail project is forecast by our governor for 2028 or so (fingers firmly crossed).

Of course, there may be a few delays.

Government negotiators are currently in meetings with Oprah Winfrey about running the future High Speed Train through the front yard of her Malibu mansion which just happens to lie on the only logical coastal route around the mountains between Bakersfield and the Los Angeles basin.

If those talks fail they will begin talks with the Sierra Club about  a sort of  Ski-Lift  operation (still in engineering design stages) to move the train over the mountains or, possibly, a forty mile tunnel through the mountains along the San Andreas Earthquake  fault line.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Bob Bandy

Original Story by Paul Galdone

Bob’s version of the Little Red Hen

ONCE UPON A TIME there was a little red hen who wanted to start her own oil company.

Who will help me find the oil she asked? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen.  I will find it myself, and she did.

Who will help me get the oil out of the ground she asked? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen.  So she did it herself.

Who will help me get the oil to the refinery? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen.  I will transport it myself, and she did.

Who will help me refine the oil into gasoline she asked? Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen, I’ll do it by myself.  And she did.

Who will help me transport the gasoline to the Service Station she asked?  Not us said the Federal Government!  Not us said the State Government!  Okay, said the Little Red Hen, I will haul it there myself.

Finally the Little Red Hen’s gasoline is sold.

Who would like to share in the profits she asked?  

We would said the Federal Government and we demand 18.4 cents per gallon.

We would said California State Government and we demand 58.3 cents per gallon.

Looking in her pocketbook the Little Red Hen found that she only made a net profit of 7 cents per gallon.  (source Forbes & Factcheck)

Later, Federal Government and California State Government notified the Little Red Hen that since she was so greedy they were going to tax her income for the excessive profits she had made.  

7 cents a gallon profit.  Those darn oil companies sure are greedy aren’t they!

You can’t make this stuff up.

Bob Bandy

North Korea’s Dear Leader, Kim Jong Un, made a speech to his people the other day calling on them to do their duty by producing 200 pounds each day of “human fertilizer” to fertilize the farm fields of North Korea.

The radio commentator made some comment that, due to the generally diminutive size of the average North Korean because of their near starvation diet, it might be difficult for them to produce human waste in excess of their total body weight.    

I have an idea that should not only help solve North Korea’s fertilizer problem but also further the cause of Peace while bringing joy to the American heartland.

Let’s load up the United States Congress and send them on a combination extended field trip and peace mission to North Korea. 

If Congress can spread it around there the way they do here,  North Korea’s fertilizer problem will be solved and its agricultural fields will be a rich, verdant green in a short period of time.  

Further, when Congress returns to Washington D.C. we could permanently move the United Nations Headquarters from New York City to North Korea.  That should keep North Korean farmlands green for decades to come.

Everybody wins.  What could possibly go wrong?

Just trying to help out.

Bob Bandy

Aw…… The Sunset Years – A Look at the Golden Age of Life.

It is my intent that this be a satirical, if not whimsical look at the “Golden Years” of my time on this earth, having experienced life at both ends of the rainbow.  It is not meant to offend anyone, except perhaps in a humorous vein.  We all, including myself, need to be able to laugh at our foibles and the often unintended consequences of our good intentions and sometimes bad habits.

It was my original intent to title this: “The Thoughts and Shadowy Dreams of a Middle-Aged Man”.  But, that would only work if life expectancy is 152 years. 

I grew up in the automobile business having spent many of my happy younger years in auto repair shops with by father and uncle.  One of my early after high school jobs was working on a used car lot preparing cars for resale.  I have always loved cars so you will forgive me if I use an auto related theme in this little exercise.

I find myself driving down the road of life and at this point I am peering out the windshield, straining my old eyes for a look at the Golden Sunset years promised in all those stories and commercials through the years.  

You know the ones I mean.  Like the commercials where those generous, friendly  companies say they will  pay you cash for your Life Insurance policy now – pre-mortem – “giving”  you and your spouse the money to stroll through sun drenched meadows of wild flowers in your final years.  Of course they don’t mention in the ads that when you turn room temperature they will get the cash from your life insurance policy leaving your spouse and/or children with nothing except a final decision as to what to do with your remains.  Left to wonder if “the departed” would prefer a brown or grey cardboard box in which to make the final journey on this side of the veil.  Excuse the bit of macabre humor here.

You will forgive me if my eyes drift from the road ahead to some of the golden memories in the rear view mirror of years past from time to time.  

I had a very happy childhood and survived the usual drama of the teenage years to go out into the world and make lots of common mistakes and wrong turns at times.  School years, military time, lots of good friends, multiple work and career paths.  All the normal stuff in an average life.  Many great memories, some regrets for errors and pain along the way.  Finally met the right life partner and love of my life.  She gave us a beautiful and wonderful daughter and so many special memories.  Too many to begin to cover here.  A Great Life.  Trust me, a long and fond list of golden rear view mirror memories.

Returning my eyes to the road ahead on the other side of the windshield.  

I am thankful for my family and many friends and for my faith which carries me from day to day.  Still much joy there.  However…….

I often seem to find myself, with depleted resources, not allowed to eat any of my favorite foods, too weak to walk that beach again with my beloved wife, struggling  to complete what used to be simple repairs around our home.  That time in life when you realize that most of your  “get up and go” has “got up and went”. 

I have this theory that there is an insidious conspiracy and all those stories about the golden years were part of a “Big Lie” fed to us by a government and media whose only goal is to use us up and then turn us over to an assortment of financial vampires bent on sucking away whats left of our retirement “nest egg” and the scarred remains of our tattered Social (In)Security system.

Some of the members of this conspiratorial group are Government Bureaucrats, Insurance providers, the Medical Profession, the pharmaceutical Drug makers and  the Health Food industry. Their  mission in life is to cleanse the wallet and bank account of  their few remaining dollars as well as the last bit of joy of living while denying me the goodies I want and deserve.  

That is their mission and the first thing they think of when they get out of bed in the morning.  What can we do to make Bob’s life miserable and less joyous today?  In my heart of hearts I know this is true.  You are reading this on the internet so it has to be true.

If you believe the above to just be the raging paranoia of someone past their prime – a scary thought – there is a second theory.  I suppose that in full disclosure I could admit that maybe, just maybe some of my health issues just might be because of my own poor choices in food and life style. 

I should admit this but really don’t want to.  I prefer to believe in the first theory about a grand scheme to deprive me of my wife’s Best Anywhere Chocolate Chip Cookies.   I guess it would be fair to say that I choose the fantasy of the first theory over the reality and facts of the second theory. 

Rear view mirror or windshield?  Both are there.  I have to believe that’s good.

Bob Bandy – August 2018

To paraphrase an old fable: “If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water he will jump out but if you put the same frog into a pot of cold water and then raise the temperature one degree at a time he will stay there until he is boiled alive”.

There are many life applications this bit of wisdom can be applied to.  I have sometimes gotten myself into “hot water” one degree at a time until finding myself in a real mess.

Whether it is an addiction, debt, unhealthy relationships, bad eating habits or any number of other life altering and threatening situations, we are all potential victims of incremental disaster.

But it takes Government on steroids to turn this simple truth into an art form for picking our pockets clean.  I once heard the Comedian Gallagher say:  “Everywhere you leak, they hang a bucket”.

For example go to Walmart and purchase a bag of dog food.  Walmart is paying property taxes, utility taxes, employers share of employees payroll taxes, license fees, environmental fees, government regulatory fees, permit fees, etc. (I could go on but space is limited).

In addition, the truck that hauled the dog food to the store had to pay fuel taxes, license fees, special federal taxes on the tires on the truck, regulatory fees, highway use taxes, ad nauseum.

We could work our way throughout the store but the point is made.  Question:  Ultimately who pays all these taxes and fees?   (Pretend you are hearing game show music) – Da Da Da Da.   You guessed right!  You are!

Next and closer to home, just for fun pull out a recent phone, cable or other utility bill.  For example my recent Comcast Xfinity Cable+ bill has two itemized billing sections: One is called: Other Charges and Taxes and  one is called: surcharges and fees.  On my bill there are ten separate items including, but not limited to, items such as Regulatory Recovery Fees ($2.50) and one called PEG Access Support ($1.53).   The two sections total  $18.49 + $15.53.  Back when I went to school that would be a total of $34.02. 

Comcast public statistics state they have 29.3 million customers.  If my bill is average that would mean monthly revenues for all these various agencies, departments and “groups” would be (my calculator is smoking but if accurate) $996,786,000.

Stated another way that’s 996 Million, 786 Thousand dollars – rock throwing distance to One Billion Dollars a month from one tax and fee generating utility flowing into the pockets of all of these, sometimes mystery, groups, departments and agencies every month from just this one utility.

Shall we now review our telephone bill, gas bill, garbage bill etc.?

Government will never be satisfied with just our Income Tax, Payroll (FICA) Taxes, Property Taxes, Sales Taxes, Auto License, Registration & Fees, Parking Fees, etc. etc. 

Government is a bottomless pit for your money with little accountability.

On the other hand, I am sure that the folks at PEG Access Support are spending their 44+ Million Dollar monthly share of the “take” wisely.

Bob Bandy

An Open Fan Letter To Congresswoman Maxine Waters

Dear Congresswoman Waters,

I must admit that in the past I have not been one of your supporters or fans.  Now however, I would like to thank you for your consistent and strident attacks on President Donald Trump.

You have accomplished far more to support the causes I believe in than I ever could have done.  It is my sincere hope that you will continue, even intensify your attacks and in that effort I would like to make some helpful suggestions.

First and foremost do not “sugar coat” how you feel and don’t “beat around the bush”.  Lately it seems I detect a weakening in your attacks and a softening of your hatred for him.  Don’t let this happen.  

Second, you might want to get counsel from people like Hollywood Actor Robert De Niro on adding a little depth and color to your language when you speak to, and of the President.  Mr. De Niro has a real way with colorful speech and the ability to add spice to what you say.  His specialty seems to be in words beginning with the letter “F” when speaking to the media.

Third, consider adding Hollywood Actor Peter Fonda to your staff of strategic advisers.  Mr. Fonda has put forth some intriguing ideas about surrounding the schools of the children of your political and policy opponents and then threatening and terrifying them so as to intimidate their parents.  Brilliant thinking and ideas like this could add to your growing fan base.

Finally, consider creating a Council on Women’s Empowerment and Rights.  You could ask your personal friend Former President Bill Clinton to head up this Council and perhaps strengthen its impact by asking Hollywood Film Producer Harvey Weinstein and former Democratic Senator Al Franken to Co-Chair the group.  Possibly former Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner could be a consultant or media adviser for publicity for the group. 

I have many other, I think worthwhile ideas but hopefully if you just implement the above it will speed along your campaign to unseat the current President. 

With Kind Regards,

Bob Bandy