Stop Pulling the Wagon

THE MUELLER REPORT 2.0

Starring

ROBERT DE NIRO 

I saw a video presentation on television featuring Robert De Niro with a cast of other mostly “has been” or “who cares” little known Hollywood personalities explaining that if you carefully read the entire Mueller Report there was plenty of evidence of Trump collusion with the Russian’s.  You just have to read it very slowly and “read between the lines”.  

Never mind that Robert Mueller and his band of overpaid “investigators” clearly said in his much anticipated report that there was no collusion.

The whole scene gave me mental images of Robert De Niro sitting in his robe and slippers at the Shady Acres Home for Washed Up Actors watching endless grainy re-runs of Raging Bull while the staff is trying to get him to take his medicine to stop his profane tirades.

I am having visions of a Hollywood Production with a re-write of the Mueller Report and this time it comes out the way Hollywood wanted it to and Donald Trump is “frog marched” off to prison for imagined crimes. 

Robert DeNiro can play the part of Robert Mueller and Alec Baldwin can re-play his Saturday Night Live portrayal of Donald Trump.  

There is no shortage of other Hollywood “wannabes” to fill in the supporting roles.

Writing the script should be easy.  Just avoid words with more than two syllables and let Robert De Niro and Alec Baldwin run wild with their imaginations.  If you subtract the “F” word from their musings, neither of them have much of a vocabulary to work with.

I can’t be the only person in the country that is sick of the media trotting out “Shopworn Hollywood Celebrities” who want to tell me what my political views ought to be and how I should live my life.  Frankly, I don’t care what they think and their “I’m smarter than you” attitude just turns me off.  

I have some news for them.  Just because you played a doctor in a movie or on a televisions series does not mean I want you as my doctor.

Bob Bandy 

June 2019

California Governor Gavin Newsom

One of my most popular articles is a “quazi spoof” piece, reprinted below, about new taxes in California. I wrote it in 2017 but obviously then Governor Jerry Brown did not “pick up” on the opportunity and implement them.  

California’s new Governor, Gavin Newsom,  has a reputation for being even more aggressive and seems to be endlessly looking for new ways to squeeze dollars out of California residents while on a mission to increase “revenues” to spend on his Progressive Agenda.  Perhaps he will pick up where Governor Brown failed to act.

Let’s see what happens.

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Fair Share Taxes And Global Climate Change

I have information from reliable but nameless and secret sources that the State of California is very near announcement of a two fold plan for a Fair Share Universal Tax to help fund the War on Global Climate Change.

First, in recognition that exhaling releases carbon dioxide gas which is a contributor to Global Climate Change,  every resident or visitor to the State of California will be required to have a micro chip implant that will both monitor and report each time they exhale to the State of California.

This data will be forwarded to the Franchise Tax Board who will calculate the tax due and be responsible for collecting the scheduled tax from “Breathers”.  At the time of this writing the tax rate being considered is one tenth of a cent per exhale.  This may seem  a paltry sum until one calculates that the average adult respiratory rate is about 15 times per minute or 900 times per hour.  Do a little math and the average cost of exhaling in California will be about 90 cents an hour or $21.60 a day.

This tax can be avoided by simply no longer exhaling and residents and visitors can take comfort in the fact that inhaling is still free.  At least for now.

For the Second phase of this battle consideration is being given to the fact that methane is also a contributor to Global Climate Change and it is the responsibility of all of us to pay our Fair Share Tax in the battle to monitor and reduce the release of this gas into California’s breathable air resources.

It is also a scientific fact that flatulence is a major contributor to the release of methane into the atmosphere. Therefore, California is creating a new agency to monitor and tax the unwanted release of this gas.  To fund this Board and its employees a new source of revenue will be created through the establishment of a Flatulence Air Resource Tax.

Under development is a new monitoring device to be worn by all residents and visitors on the rear upper portion of the thigh which will sense, tabulate and report to the Board all releases of methane gas by the wearer.

The Board will then forward this information to the California Franchise Tax Board who will be responsible for billing and collecting the approved tax.  At this writing a rate of $1.00 per release is under consideration.  Think of it as an exhaust gas tax.

Taxpayers can avoid this tax by simply not releasing any methane gas through the monitored process.

The State agency for this Board is reporting some difficulty in recruiting, hiring and training workers who will be responsible for checking and monitoring individuals at random to be sure they are wearing the methane release and sound monitoring device and that it is working properly.

Formal announcement of this new Fair Share Tax and implementation of monitoring should be released through the media within the next 60 days.

All tax rates are subject to review and increase depending on Battlefield Assessment Reports from the ongoing War against Global Climate Change and subject to review and correction by former Vice President Al Gore.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Bob Bandy

June 2019

CONGRESSWOMAN ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ

I have secret inside information from unnamed sources that Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is in reality a covert Republican operative  masquerading as a Progressive Democrat. 

I trust this information because it is from the same unnamed sources so often quoted by the New York Times, Washington Post, MSNBC and CNN in their coverage of the Trump Collusion Investigation.  How can you be more credible than that?

We should all do whatever we can to keep from “blowing” the Congresswoman’s cover story about being a Progressive Democrat.

As part of this long range, carefully crafted operation, Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez is reported to have graduated “with Honors” and a degree in Economics from Boston College.  A very clever cover with no doubt a realistic looking diploma hanging on a wall somewhere.

Lets look at the facts.  

• It is reported that Boston College charges students $70,000 a year tuition.  Even without a degree in Economics I believe that totals $280,000 for a four year degree. 
• No one with a degree in Economics who graduated “with Honors” from Boston College could really be as mathematically ignorant as she appears (pretends?) to be.  Could they? 
• Common sense tells us that a  real economics student would not expend that amount of effort and money  to graduate from a “respected” college and lack the ability to do simple math.  

Logically, the college degree ruse is just a cleverly orchestrated cover to provide her with the “credentials” to be a voice for the “Green New Deal” hoax.

To believe otherwise we would have to conclude that  Boston College is just a “Degree Mill” in business only to make money for overpaid Professors whose real mission is indoctrinating students with a “Progressive Liberal” agenda.

I have to surmise that the Congresswoman’s wide eyed,  “pretend to be a moron” act is just part of her clever cover story and that as a covert Republican operative she is working on a plan to  destroy not only the Progressive wing of the Democratic Party but, in the process she plans to cause Nancy Pelosi to lose her tenuous grasp on whatever remaining shreds of reality she clings to.

Let’s all support Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez!  We want to help her get as much support from her colleagues as she can.  

But…… Don’t tell anyone.  Let’s just keep this little secret to ourselves.

Bob Bandy

Rule #6   …….Control what children are taught in school.  Emphasize Progressive ideals only. (Saul Alinsky – Rules 4 Radicals).

Captain Jean-Luc Picard/Locutus Borg

Being old enough to remember  “Star Trek – The Next Generation” series I am finding similarities between the “New” Progressive Political movement and the Borg ‘Collective’.

The Borg were major players in some Twenty One episodes total but I remember them first in Season Two – Episode 16 – titled: “Q Who?”  

The Borg are “beings” with both Organic and Cybernetic Implants that function as a “One Mind Collective” of Drones who are incapable of independent thought and function more as a single purpose “Hive” controlled by one central entity.

Hmmmm.  

Just the other day I heard Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi inform Democratic members of the “House” that they were to vote as a “Team” and voting with the Republicans was not allowed.  

Later, Democratic Freshman Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told fellow Democrats that any of them caught voting with the Republicans would go on a “List” that would be used against them at the next election.

I don’t know about you but this sounds a lot like the Borg to me.  No independent thought allowed. No independent action allowed.  All are just “Drones” subject to the direction of “Central Command”.  

It gives me the feeling that the Progressive Left plans to convert all of us into “Borg Drones” trained to obey while they Create a Socialist State.  Maybe like the one in Venezuela or Cuba?

Below is a checklist for creating a Socialist State.  Please tell me a single one of these items that the “Progressive Left” does not have on its agenda and now demands total compliance to from the Democrats  in congress. 

I can even add a couple or more items to this list.  Just one example: the”Green New Deal”. 

Copied from “The Federalist” – January 15, 2018

Are you ready for your “Cybernetic Implants”

Bob Bandy

Star Trek the Next Generation is available on NetFlix and from other sources.

Rule Number One – Smile – You can’t take these folks too seriously or it will make you crazy. Instead of getting mad it is better to keep our sense of humor and have some fun.

Let’s propose to the “Green New Deal” folks that they promote their ideas via sponsorship of a new Reality Show on television.  We could call it “Survivor Plus” and the challenge the contestants face will be called:  “The Turn Texas Green Race”.

The plan: A race across the state of Texas for the contestants in Solar Powered Cars (similar to the one above).

The race will be from the West Texas town of  El Paso to the East Texas town of Beaumont.  Distance: 830 miles through the heart of Texas.

Each car will be decorated with Bumper Stickers and signs that say things like:  NO MORE NRA – HILLARY IN 2020 – OUTLAW ALL GUNS – SHUT DOWN ALL OIL WELLS – NO MORE CATTLE.

First contestant to reach Beaumont, Texas alive wins a free lunch with Al Gore.

Second place winner will get two lunches with all Gore.

Any remaining surviving contestants that finish the race will win a three day stay at Al Gore’s Environment Friendly 10,070 square foot mansion/estate/home  sharing quarters with Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Congressman Adam Schiff and Congressman Jerry Nadler.  Sounds like a great time doesn’t it? 

Enjoy a tour of Al Gore’s reconstructed library.  His old library was destroyed in a fire and all three of his books burned, including one he had not finished coloring yet.

Have your mind stimulated at a third grade math class taught by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes.

Laugh yourself silly at the “Battle of Wits” between Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler.  Spirited intellectual debate between three unarmed combatants.

Indulge yourself at the Environment Friendly Bar-B-Que featuring cow-flatulent-free Tofu Burgers. Yum, Yum!

Just for entering the race, all contestants will receive an Al Gore autographed 8 x 10 glossy color photograph of his Environment Friendly private jet.

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This was written for fun and a smile.  Some of your friends and neighbors might enjoy this.  Many folks who call themselves “Progressives” demonstrate little to no sense of humor.  Share accordingly.

Bob Bandy