FOOD FIGHT
Watching the Democratic Debate on February 25th between the seven qualifying candidates reminded me of the food fight scene with John Belushi in National Lampoons Animal House movie. (Universal Pictures 1978). The CBS moderators completely lost control as the candidates gesticulated and shouted over one another.
It left me, and I am sure many others, wandering what the future would look like with any one of this group in the White House?
But then, I got an idea.
Remember when the Democratic National Committee “robbed” Bernie Sanders of the Nomination in 2016 with a rule change/”Brokered” Convention and made Hillary Clinton, of “Whine & Book Tour” fame, the Democratic candidate for President?
Maybe they could do something similar with this bunch. Another Democratic National Committee rule change that would declare this group a single, but diverse political entity, sort of like a “Corporate” entity, that would be allowed to run, and if elected, serve as President on a Committee basis.
For example, Pete Buttigieg, who is often called Saint Pete, could be President on Sunday of each week. He could do his “whatever you want me to be today”, routine and wear his “What Me Worry?” face.
On Monday, Elizabeth Warren, the groups only person of color (she is 1/1024th Native American) will be President. With the stroke of her pen she can introduce her new math and implement her 2 cent tax on the wealth of the ultra rich to pay for a better economy for the rest of the country.
Tuesday, Joe Biden (who on alternate days is also running as a Senatorial Candidate) could be President if he can remember where he is for the day. He could remind us again of his victories like the time he “whupped” “Corn Pop”, the town bully who had threatened him with a piece of chain.
On Wednesday, Michael Bloomberg could emerge from his basement where he and Scrooge McDuck (who has signed a “Non-Disclosure Statement”) have been stacking and counting their gold coins and serve as our President for the day.
Thursday would be Amy Klobuchar’s day to regale us with endless reminders of her humble beginnings in the Midwest and how she has solved all the countries problems while working both sides of the aisle in Washington D.C.
Friday would give us President Tom Steyer, a Billionaire who made his fortune in the energy (Coal & Oil) business coming out and signing Presidential Executive Orders to save the planet by eliminating 90% of the coal and oil production jobs in the country so we can all sit in cold, dark rooms while enjoying a bowl of tofu and rutabaga stew.
Saturday would be President Bernie Sanders, dressed in his Presidential Santa Claus suit, serving as President and everything you ever wanted will be “Free – Free – Free”. Ninety Three Trillion Dollars worth. All paid for with paper dollars printed on his very own ATM machine which he has kept hidden behind door # 3.
It could all work. What could possibly go wrong?
Bob Bandy – March 2020
Post Script: I published this on March 1st and on March 2nd woke up to find two of these folks had dropped out. Oh well, a smaller committee as President maybe?
Hey, thanks for the article post. Fantastic.
1Humor? It would be funny except the truth is truly sinister when one realizes who the real puppet masters are. There is no good, humorous, way for this to end if they stay in charge of the liberal candidate roster. However, moving past the debate to a confrontation, run off, between Bernie and Biden ideologies could provide a useful conversation.
Bernie, if he could move away for free stuff, could initiate a much needed exploration of the harsher realities of capitalism, it’s inclination to create such disparity of wealth for instance. Under Trump with other business and political leadership participation may be able to temper some of the less constructive aspects of the capitalist market inclinations. Similarly Trump, despite, the establishments resistance and reluctance is bringing much needed change of purpose and perspective to foreign affairs and international trade.
Biden on the other hand offers the opportunity to expose the excesses, pervasiveness and persistence life sucking self serving nature of the swamp out into the public view and discourse. Maybe we could have a real house cleaning.
Either way it could be a win win for the nation particularly if the puppet masters could be drawn out from behind the curtain.
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